Biracial Curly Hair Tips-Reading this made me laugh out loud, but I might try it anyway! I

Biracial Curly Hair Tips: "If you have extra time to perfect your hair when leaving it all out and curly, instead of using a plastic cap, dap your hair with a towel after the cream is all applied. Then while you bend forward, put on a large panty hose crotch and stuff all your hair into it. Allow the water to evaporate from the crotch for 1-2 hours and when you take off the crotch your curls will be perfectly formed and bouncy and not looking pulled by gravity. You'll have body, fullness and beautiful curls with no poof."


#20: 30 Day Blog Challenge-Your Fears

My fears: not getting into Heaven, not reaching my full potential (personally and professionally), and not getting married and raising a family.  Also, bad dates!

#19: 30 Day Blog Challenge-Five Items You Lust After

This was a toughie...:

  1. A new job
  2. A Huetiful hair steamer
  3. A meaningful relationship
  4. A good vacation
  5. A new, green bicycle

#18: 30 Day Blog Challenge-A Problem That You've Had

A problem that I've had all of my life is not believing people when they show me who they really are.  I always believe that everyone is inherently good or misunderstood.  That is my fatal flaw.  But, I'm learning...

#17: 30 Day Blog Challenge-Something You Always Think "What If..." About

I'm proud of a lot of things, but one thing I'm proud of is that I have never used an illegal drug.


#16: 30 Day Blog Challenge-Something You Always Think "What If..." About

Something I think "what if" about: my relationship with my dad.  I wonder what would be different if my dad and I had repaired our relationship before he was dying.  After being besties for most of my life, my dad and I had a falling out and didn't speak for an extended period.  I miss my dad all the time, but especially around Father's Day, his birthday, my mom's birthday (5 days before his and though she was 2 years younger than him, now she'll always be older), my birthday, and at weddings (I hate the father-daughter dance and I really hate when people dance to "Dance w/My Father").  I believe that God doesn't make mistakes and that all things happen for a reason, even when it's not apparent to us. When I miss my dad, I think about what might be different if he were still alive...because of that, I encourage my friends to cherish their loved ones and to maintain good relationships with those they care about because you never know when your last day will be.

#15: 30 Day Blog Challenge-Your Zodiac/Horoscope and If You Think It Fits Your Personality

Pisces Strength Keywords:

- Compassionate
- Adaptable
- Accepting
- Devoted
- Imaginative

Pisces Weakness Keywords:

- Oversensitive
- Indecisive
- Self-pitying
- Lazy
- Escapist

(I Googled this info on Pisceans)

Am I a true Pisces?  I am definitely very compassionate toward others (I'm a social worker, and I don't know how to turn it off at 5 p.m.).  I'm accepting of a lot of things about others (I've had clients with all kinds of backgrounds and all kinds of issues as a result).  I have a hard time being on time, but whenever my family or friends call, I'm up and out before they can finish a sentence.  I can be overly sensitive, but I also have ADHD and being overly sensitive is a symptom (due to being easily overwhelmed and sometimes feeling less capable than others).   I am usually pretty decisive, but I'm also flexible.  I'm not a lazy person-I learned how to read at 2 1/2, graduated from high school and college with honors and extra credits, and regularly volunteer for additional projects outside of work. Honestly, I put more stock in the area of birth order than I do in astrology.  I'm an only child, but not functionally.  More on that later. :o)


#14: 30 Day Blog Challenge- What You Wore Today

I actually wore two ensembles today-a pink round neck, short-sleeved shirt (cut like a t-shirt, but made from dress shirt material) with light khaki bermuda shorts and bronze wedge sandals early in the day (see below)


a light khaki linen shirtdress with a chocolate belt and luggage tan sandals with my a torquoise bag for contrast.


#13: 30 Day Blog Challenge- Your Opinion About Your Body and How Comfortable You Are With It

I'm slender, but not skinny.   I wish I had curvier hips and bigger legs (my Granny is 72 and has Beyonce/Tina Turner legs-genetics isn't always fair).  I used to wish I were taller, but I enjoy my height (my Granny is 5'9" and I'm the oldest and shortest of my cousins.  Again, genetics isn't always fair).  Finally, I wish my feet were a little smaller.  My size 8 feet are what I inherited from my Granny.  Did I mention that genetics isn't always fair?    Overall, I love my body.  My mom and I have the same build (well, she's taller and I'm more, um, busty).  My hips will fill out one day because hers did (yes, I did that).  We both inherited her dad's skinny legs and knobby knees.  I got my dad's chin and my face is a combination of both of my parents.  I have a mole on my finger where my dad had one.  Looking in the mirror is like visiting with my family.  

#12: 30 Blog Challenge-Five Guys Whom You Find Attractive

  1. Boris Kodjoe
  2. Laz Alonzo
  3. Lance Gross
  4. Jeff Johnson
  5. Robin Thicke

#11: 30 Day Blog Challenge-My Family

I'm the only child of Sharon and Terry Fletcher.  My grandmothers are from Virginia and my grandfathers are from the Carolinas (Maternal grandfather from North, Paternal grandfather from South). My mother is the oldest of 5 kids (2 girls, then 3 boys).  My dad was the oldest son of 4 children (a sister, my dad, then 2 brothers).  I only have 3 first cousins on each side, but  I have a HUGE extended family, as each of my maternal grandparents came from a large family.  Most of my 2nd cousins came to my 30th birthday party last year, including 3 who are over 50!  Unfortunately, my Grandaddy Luther was an orphan and my Grandma Dot was an only child, like me so that side is scarce.  My family is very close-knit and most of my friends say we're like a Southern version of the Cosbys (w/out the money!).  For years we have taken an annual Jones Girls Retreat (my Granny's maiden name) with every woman over 18, including my 90 year old great-aunt Jeannette who drives "little old ladies" to the doctor every day.  I'm blessed with a loving, silly, fantastic family.  We're Baptist, Catholic, and Jewish and we love dancing, good cake, and a dirty joke (my Granny's sisters usually win the contest).   

#10-30 Day Challenge- Put Your Music Player On Shuffle

  1. "Are You That Somebody"- Aaliyah
  2. "I Like The Way (Kissing Game)"- Hi Five
  3. "Kiss"- Prince
  4. "You Make Me Wanna"- Usher
  5. "Dirty Diana"- Michael Jackson
  6. "Pretty Wings"- Maxwell
  7. "Iesha"- Another Bad Creation
  8. "Turn It Up"- Brandy
  9. "Scream"- Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson
  10. "The Point of It All"- Anthony Hamilton
I bought an MP3 player specifically for my birthday party last year and loaded it with favorite songs from the three decades of my life.  I haven't added many songs since then and this is a pretty good representation of my favorites.  The only thing missing is a little Craig David, Mario, Common, and MC Lyte.  And some Robin Thicke and Rob Thomas.  Hmmm...


#9: 30 Day Challenge-How Important You Think Education Is

Education is such an important investment in one's future.  I believe that college may not be for everyone, but I do think that everyone should give it a try.  I think that too many people take their free education for granted.  For me, it is part of my responsibility to my ancestors and anyone who ever prayed for freedom from slavery, fought Jim Crow, or died for voting rights.  I enjoy learning and agree with Malcolm X's statement that "Education is the passport for the future".  I just wish more people thought so, too.


Product/Technique Reviews!-Coconut Cream and Darcy's Botanicals Natural Coils Curling Jelly

Natural Coils Curling Jelly


I recently tried Darcy Botanicals  Coiling Jelly ($12) which I purchased at the Natural Hair Extravaganza a few weeks ago.  I tried it three times.  Once exactly according to the directions, a second time with leave-in conditioner, and a third time with added water.  I noticed the best results when I added water the second day.  During the first trial, I noticed that the product dried in my hair and I had a few "hair boogers".  The second day, I added sprayed my hair with some rose water and olive oil (my usual hair refreshing mix).  This seemed to eliminate a lot of the "boogers".  Overall, I noticed good curl definition (the looser curls at the nape of my neck looked like a rat tail).  I will post pictures as soon as my camera acts like it has some sense!

Today, I did my honey-cinnamon-lemon hair hair lightener (featured in a previous post) and deep conditioned with coconut cream (about $1.50).  I've read posts on other blogs and seen YouTube videos that claim that it stretches or silkens your natural curl pattern.  I love my curl patternS (yes, plural, because I have about 3 different hair types), but I have noticed some single strand knots (SSKs) since I did the wash and go style with the Coiling Jelly (see above) and also a protective style with mini-twists.  I try to keep my hair stretched to avoid getting knots.  Again, I want to emphasize that I'm not trying to change my curl pattern.   I just want t try different ways to keep my ends tangle-free.  

#8: 30 Day Challenge- What You Ate Today

So far today, I've eaten a half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a bowl of crab-fried rice.  I had a glass of water and a glass of apple juice.  (I woke up late, so there's more to come).

#7: 30 Day Blog Challenge- Five Pet Peeves

  1. Misspelled or incorrectly used words (their/they're/there, its/it's, 's/es/s).  What can I say, I'm a nerd. 
  2. Bullies.  I try not to beat folks over the head with my opinions .
  3. Natural Natzis, Permed Protesters/Relaxed Rebels, or Weaved Wackos.  Your hair is your business just like mine is my business.  I try not to give unsolicited natural hair advice, but nobody with a bad weave or stringy relaxed hair can tell me anything about my natural hair!
  4. People who pre-judge people, places, or things before they know anything about them.
  5. When I forget who I loaned something to!  

#6: 30 Day Blog Challenge-Your Views of Mainstream Music

I am disappointed in a lot of today's music.  I love old school R&B, hip-hop, and soul music.  I even love alternative music, 80's pop, country, jazz, etc.  I pretty much like everything except the O music: gO-gO,  emO, and technO.  That being said, I'm tired of music that isn't remotely artistic and is hyper-sexualized.  It's a struggle to find a song that doesn't refer to women as property or having the sole purpose of sexually satisfying or otherwise validating a man (whether it's a female artist making this assertion about herself or a male artist declaring this).  There's a big difference between Salt and Pepa's "I'll Take Your Man" and "Bottoms Up".  These days I listen to a lot of oldies because at least I won't need a shower after listening.


#5: 30 Day Challenge-Things You Want to Say to An Ex

  1. I wish it had worked out, but apparently, it wasn't meant to be.  
  2. It really was you, not me.
  3. Your mother is so sweet, but she scared me when she thought that someone shot down the space shuttle.  And said so out loud.  As we drove past the Kennedy Space Center.  Bless her heart.
  4. Marrying you would be akin to slavery.  No thanks.
  5. I miss your cooking.  A lot.
  6. You are probably too smart for your own good.  It is not all the Black women in the world who are the problem.  God bless you and your giant brain.  I sincerely hope you find someone who "gets" you.
  7. I lied.  It was absolutely terrible and you knew it!
  8. I'm sorry that you're gone.  The good really do die young.  You're my favorite ex.
  9. FYI: I was totally prepared to beat your ass to a pulp if your frat brother hadn't shown up.
  10. Thank you, for helping me to be who I am today!  


#4: 30 Day Challenge-Bullet Your Whole Day

  • Woke up around 10a (aunt was texting/calling)
  • Texted aunt, then called her
  • Talked to her for 53 mins (according to my cell history)
  • Fell back asleep for another 30 minutes or so
  • Got up and fed my doggie and myself
  • Let the doggie out
  • Read the newspaper
  • Prepared to go out w/a friend to the movies
  • Was late to the movie so we skipped it and went shopping
  • Picked up a gift for a friend 
  • Talked w/my favorite old client who is now like a member of my family
  • Walked around the Towne Center looking for  Charming Charlie's (couldn't find it!)
  • Avoided being solicited by a local rap artist pushing his CD (Love to support the arts, but I have SAD)
  • Went to Red Lobster and enjoyed daiquiris, fried shrimp, baked potatoes, and Caesar salad w/Nikeia)
  • Checked out the waiter and the bartender (cute!)
  • Came home and fed the dog and let her out
  • Cut coupons
  • Talked w/my 19 year old cousin
  • Talked w/my mom
  • Wrote this post!
Later tonight, I'll:
  • Watch "Army Wives" and discuss it via text w/Nikeia
  •  Let the dog out twice more before I go to bed
  • Pick out an outfit for tomorrow
  • Take a shower
  • Snore!

#3: 30 Day Challenge-A Book You Love

A book I love...Hmmm...This is such a toughie because I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to read!  I could be a good Southern girl and say the Bible, but I honestly enjoy listening to the Bible more than I do reading it, except for the book of Proverbs.  As for non-biblical books, my favorite book as a kid was Bridge to Terebithia, which is a great coming-of-age story about friendship and challenges.  I've read it often since I was about 11-12 and it still gets me.  Another favorite book is The Autobiography of Malcolm X w/Alex Haley.  I've read that book a million times, too.  I have always found this book to be inspiring, as both authors had humble beginnings and went on to greatness.  I wish this was on the required reading list in schools.  Finally, I love The Gift of Fear.    I don't know if it's because I was a Psych major or what, but I love this book and I find it very empowering and dead-on.


#2: 30 Day Challenge-Something You Feel Strongly About

Something I Feel Strongly About:

Hmmm...this is a tough one.  I feel strongly about a lot of things.  Our education system needs an overhaul.  I've seen glimpses of hope (service learning in college, brain-based strategies when I taught elementary school, and language application at the pre-school level), but I really think there needs to be some sort of comprehensive, multi-organizational panel that can compile every region's best practices to actually TEACH our children.  Also, parents have got to accept the reality that teachers can't do it all and need their support.  (A childhood friend is a PTA president at her kids' school and she and her husband are extremely active at their four kids' school and have developed positive relationships with all of the teachers at the school).

Bonus:  I think that childhood obesity should be considered child abuse (barring a medical diagnosis). When I taught 3rd grade, I had a student who was 8 years old and weighed 254 pounds!  He was about 5 feet tall, but he weighed more than 3 of his male classmates, combined.  His dream is to become an NFL player, but I worry that he won't be healthy enough or live long enough to play HIGH SCHOOL ball, much less make it through college and on to the NFL.  I want his dream true (and I want him to achieve academically, too), but unfortunately, his mother is sabotaging him by feeding him high calorie, preservative laden food (I've attended parent-teacher conferences with her and seen the lunches he brought to school).  His mother is obese as well, but I don't feel that's a good enough excuse for subjecting your child to a shortened life without the joys of childhood and the opportunity to fulfill his/her dreams.


#1: 30 Day Blog Challenge-Five Ways to Win My Heart

  1. Showing kindness toward someone else without expecting anything in return.  True altrusim.
  2. Telling someone what's what in a nice way.  Sometimes you have to let someone know, but it's always best to do this as nicely as possible, unless someone has truly earned a fuss/cuss out!
  3. Teaching me or telling me about something I didn't know.  Anyone know how to sew or play the piano?
  4. Making me laugh.  I mean, a really good, deep down, belly laugh to the point where I can no longer produce sound.  (I usually start to kick my feet at that point).
  5. Being either very old or very young.  I love my friends' little people and I love me some raisins (my mama's slang for old people). 

30 Day Blog Challenge

Her Best Hair: 30 Day Blog Challenge: "I came across this 30 day blog challenge on Flawless Mistake and it sounds like fun so I plan to participate. If you plan to play alon..."