Natural Hair vs. Relaxed/Weaved Hair

Recently, there has been a wave of YouTube posts, articles, and blog posts regarding the perceived war between natural hair and relaxed hair or otherwise altered hair. I agree that naturals and permies do sometimes wage war against each other, but more often than not it comes down to accepting your hair and yourself. I had a relaxer for 20 yrs before transitioning because I felt it was a better choice for ME. A very good friend was natural for 5 yrs before relaxing her hair due to frustration wit...h her lack of curl or kink ( her hair is a mix of her dad's soft wave and her mom's fine and kinky hair). She continues to go back and forth over her decision and often seems defensive regarding her choice. She tells me that she's frustrated that the natural revolution seems limited to those with thicker, kinkier hair like mine and essentially feels like her Blackness is questioned. When I point out that kinkier hair has historically been reviled, and that is why it's such a big deal that it's more accepted, she seems more agitated regarding her choice to relax and seems to feel that I'm judging her. I say, make peace with the hair that grows out of your head and change your hairstyle if you wish (relaxer, weave, extensions, etc.), but don't continue to complain about your hair or others'. No hair style or method is for everyone, but I refute the myth that natural hair takes more time and energy because you can make your hair as simple or as complicated as you choose, regardless of texture. I love my permies and my naturals equally, but I don't tolerate negative comments about my hair, particularly from anyone whose hair is damaged and scraggly, relaxed or not.

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