Henna Virgins

So, this past Saturday my good friend A and I finally lost our henna virginities. Well, technically, she did, but I supervised!

We attended the Desired Beauty Hair Expo* on 4/6/13 and she picked up a package of wedding grade henna for about $7 from Henna Sooq (www.henasooq.com or 410.579.4543). The young proprietor was a very sweet young woman whose name escapes me!

Fast forward to last Saturday:
Me: It's been like two weeks. So, when are we gonna do your henna? (Because I knew my natural hair know-how and moral support would be required, not requested)

A: Next weekend!

Fast forward to Wednesday:
Me: Don't forget to DC (deep condition) before Saturday!
A: Why? What?
Me: (sigh) Did you pay attention to the instructions she gave? Watch a YouTube vid?

***more reminders and questions***

Saturday/The Big Reveal:
After deep conditioning the night before and mixing the henna early Saturday morning and allowing it to sit for a few hours for dye release (maximum color/results) A then applied the henna evenly to her deep conditioned and rinsed, but not freshly washed hair and covered it with two plastic caps and a crochet tam/beanie so she could be seen in public.

After allowing the henna to marinate for about 4 hours, during which we went to the local farmer's market, ate, and piddled around, we checked a small section of hair and decided it was time to rinse. Against my advice, A hopped in the shower to rinse it out "shampoo-commercial style", but soon realized that my suggested "dunk and swish" method would work better.

The results were awesome! She has naturally reddish hair, but it has gotten darker and less red as we've gotten older (FYI: she's a medium-toned Black woman with two Black parents). The henna didn't make her hair quite as coppery as it was when we were kids, but it did make her reddish/dark brown hair much more red than brown. As an added bonus, her curls/coils looked healthier and more defined (she has fine 4B/C hair with low porosity and minimal definition).

Warning: Use gloves or enjoy having orange hands for a few days! (My friend forgot to use gloves and looks like she's part Oompa Loompa!)

Preparing to Use Henna:
*Have a pair of gloves handy
*DC at least one hour before application (but don't wash your hair, as henna can be drying)
*Be prepared to spend 4-8 hours with mix in your hair (plan to cover your hair with a scarf or hat if you need to be in public)
*Have an inexpensive conditioner for rinsing henna mix out of your hair.
*Enlist a trusted friend/spouse/child to help ensure even coverage and removal. Also good for catching any drips while out and about!
*Don't wear a favorite shirt! Wear a shirt that you don't mind turning orange. An old shirt that buttons up is also a good idea.


Henna mix and application:
One package of henna (50-75 grams)
Green tea (1/2 of a cup)
Lemon juice (1/8 of a cup)
Olive oil (2 Tablespoons)

Mix well and allow to "proof" for at least an hour. Henna is an all-natural dye and the "proofing" allows the plant dye to release for best color results. Apply throughout hair evenly. Because henna isn't a chemical, it doesn't matter what section of hair you start/end with, but to ensure even coverage, you may want to start from the nape area and move methodically through the rest of your hair. Allow henna mix to remain in hair for at least 4 hours; wipe a small section to check the color and then allow to sit longer as needed for desired results.

*Leftover henna can be saved in the freezer until next time*


Rinsing Henna/The Fun Part:
Fill your tub or a deep sink with enough lukewarm water for you to dunk your head (about halfway full). Smooth two handfuls (or more, as needed) of inexpensive conditioner over your hair, massaging gently and squeezing it through your hair. Dunk and swish at will! Do not vigorously rub or agitate your hair (as usual), but use your hands to work the conditioner through and loosen the henna. If you absolutely must, use a detachable shower head (lukewarm water) to rinse your hair. Follow up with deep conditioner (30 minutes) and/or leave-in of choice.

Enjoy your new color!

Whew! Don't let the length of this post discourage you, as we both found the henna process pretty easy. She's planing to keep the color up, so I'll be posting about henna rinses/glosses in the future. These are similar to chemical color touch-ups in that you're only doing the new growth/roots and therefore need less henna/henna mix.

I Shouldn't Have Left You, Without a Dope Blog to Braid To...

It was recently brought to my attention that I am a bad blogger, meaning that I left my reader(s) hanging for quite a long minute.  (Hi Ma and Sheena!).  While it's not quite an excuse, I kind of stopped writing and started giving more live advice rather than virtual.  I'll try my very best in 2013 to provide updates on at least a bi-weekly basis and (hopefully) work my way up.  Antyways, I have lots to report and pics to follow shortly (I'm on a PC and like many, all my hair-related pics are in my iPhone).  With my mea culpa out of the way, here's what I've been up to, hair-wise, during my unintended extended absence:

I most recently tested a new twist/braid out technique using strips of safe (not cotton or wool) fabric, similar to the way one would use braiding hair.  I think it came out pretty good, but next time I'll do more braids for a little more definition.  I did about 12-15 braids in about an hour and I liked the no-heat stretch and additional definition.  More to follow!

I tried a new deep conditioner/leave-in by Shea Moisture.  I can't remember which one it is, but it's in a yellow tube and I got it on clearance from (the Newport News, VA) Target for $4.10.  When I do my modified tightly curly method, I start with damp hair and use a conditioner, an oil (coconut oil and/or olive oil), and either a heavier oil or a cream (castor oil or mango olive oil hair butter).  Throughout November and December 2012, I used the Shea Moisture with some coconut oil on my damp hair with castor oil on top and concentrated on my edges, nape, and ends and did medium twists every 2-3 weeks. I sprayed my hair with (leftover) bottled water every 2nd or 3rd day and reapplied a little castor oil every other day in between.  I seem to be experiencing more moisture, little breakage, and fewer incidents of trimming fairy knots and clusterknots (where several strands get together and play Twister). 

I had my hair blown out in September 2012 prior to heading to the annual Black Caucus festivities.  I prefer to wear my "real" hair, but it was time for a trim, so it had to be done.  After being referred by a really good, friend with high hair standards and expectations, I went to the Regency Beauty Institute in Newport News, VA.  My stylist was professional and bubbly in the best way, she actually stated that she was afraid of straightening my hair!  I encouraged her to treat my hair gently, but firmly, especially since she told me that she was going natural herself.  Lord bless her, but my hair was only about 85% straight when I left and I had Rudy Huxtable hair for two weeks.  To be fair, it started to rain as I left the shop and it rained again while I was in DC, but I coated my strands with castor oil and wrapped my hair before leaving the salon and took it down only in public from then on.  The hunt for a new blow out artist continues...

What else?  I'm looking to test out a cheaper version of the popular TerrEssentials mudwash.  I've been considering Ghana twists as a protective style and trying to find more scarves to use as headbands (I loved headbands when I had a relaxer, but now I think they make me look like I'm back in middle school). 

Happy 2nd Nappiversary to Me!!!

#21: 30 Day Blog Challenge-How You Hope Your Future Will Be (Like)

*I tweaked #21 a bit for syntax (personal pet peeve)

Near future (within the next 5 years)- I hope to have a fulfilling job as part of a long career of service.  I hope to be in a happy, stable, romantic relationship, and I hope to be in a new home with my dog, Belle.  I want to have earned my Master's degree.

Somewhat distant future (within the next 10 years)- same as above, hope to be married, with at least one child (I want to adopt either way, but definitely if I'm single at this point).  I want to have started my own business at this point, preparing to retire early from my field.  By this point, I want to have earned my Doctorate degree.

Distant future (within the next 15-20 years)- same as above.  Would like at least 2 children if married and both should at least be in grade school by this point!  I want my business to be such a success that it allows me to have lots of time to spend with my friends and family, traveling, and enjoying hobbies.

Biracial Curly Hair Tips-Reading this made me laugh out loud, but I might try it anyway! I

Biracial Curly Hair Tips: "If you have extra time to perfect your hair when leaving it all out and curly, instead of using a plastic cap, dap your hair with a towel after the cream is all applied. Then while you bend forward, put on a large panty hose crotch and stuff all your hair into it. Allow the water to evaporate from the crotch for 1-2 hours and when you take off the crotch your curls will be perfectly formed and bouncy and not looking pulled by gravity. You'll have body, fullness and beautiful curls with no poof."

#20: 30 Day Blog Challenge-Your Fears

My fears: not getting into Heaven, not reaching my full potential (personally and professionally), and not getting married and raising a family.  Also, bad dates!

#19: 30 Day Blog Challenge-Five Items You Lust After

This was a toughie...:

1. A new job
2. A Huetiful hair steamer
3. A meaningful relationship
4. A good vacation
5. A new, green bicycle

#18: 30 Day Blog Challenge-A Problem That You've Had

A problem that I've had all of my life is not believing people when they show me who they really are.  I always believe that everyone is inherently good or misunderstood.  That is my fatal flaw.  But, I'm learning...

#17: 30 Day Blog Challenge-Something You Always Think "What If..." About

I'm proud of a lot of things, but one thing I'm proud of is that I have never used an illegal drug.

#16: 30 Day Blog Challenge-Something You Always Think "What If..." About

Something I think "what if" about: my relationship with my dad.  I wonder what would be different if my dad and I had repaired our relationship before he was dying.  After being besties for most of my life, my dad and I had a falling out and didn't speak for an extended period.  I miss my dad all the time, but especially around Father's Day, his birthday, my mom's birthday (5 days before his and though she was 2 years younger than him, now she'll always be older), my birthday, and at weddings (I hate the father-daughter dance and I really hate when people dance to "Dance w/My Father").  I believe that God doesn't make mistakes and that all things happen for a reason, even when it's not apparent to us. When I miss my dad, I think about what might be different if he were still alive...because of that, I encourage my friends to cherish their loved ones and to maintain good relationships with those they care about because you never know when your last day will be.

#15: 30 Day Blog Challenge-Your Zodiac/Horoscope and If You Think It Fits Your Personality

Pisces Strength Keywords:

- Compassionate
- Adaptable
- Accepting
- Devoted
- Imaginative

Pisces Weakness Keywords:

- Oversensitive
- Indecisive
- Self-pitying
- Lazy
- Escapist

(I Googled this info on Pisceans)

Am I a true Pisces?  I am definitely very compassionate toward others (I'm a social worker, and I don't know how to turn it off at 5 p.m.).  I'm accepting of a lot of things about others (I've had clients with all kinds of backgrounds and all kinds of issues as a result).  I have a hard time being on time, but whenever my family or friends call, I'm up and out before they can finish a sentence.  I can be overly sensitive, but I also have ADHD and being overly sensitive is a symptom (due to being easily overwhelmed and sometimes feeling less capable than others).   I am usually pretty decisive, but I'm also flexible.  I'm not a lazy person-I learned how to read at 2 1/2, graduated from high school and college with honors and extra credits, and regularly volunteer for additional projects outside of work. Honestly, I put more stock in the area of birth order than I do in astrology.  I'm an only child, but not functionally.  More on that later. :o)

#14: 30 Day Blog Challenge- What You Wore Today

I actually wore two ensembles today-a pink round neck, short-sleeved shirt (cut like a t-shirt, but made from dress shirt material) with light khaki bermuda shorts and bronze wedge sandals early in the day (see below)

and...

a light khaki linen shirtdress with a chocolate belt and luggage tan sandals with my a torquoise bag for contrast.

#13: 30 Day Blog Challenge- Your Opinion About Your Body and How Comfortable You Are With It

I'm slender, but not skinny.   I wish I had curvier hips and bigger legs (my Granny is 72 and has Beyonce/Tina Turner legs-genetics isn't always fair).  I used to wish I were taller, but I enjoy my height (my Granny is 5'9" and I'm the oldest and shortest of my cousins.  Again, genetics isn't always fair).  Finally, I wish my feet were a little smaller.  My size 8 feet are what I inherited from my Granny.  Did I mention that genetics isn't always fair?    Overall, I love my body.  My mom and I have the same build (well, she's taller and I'm more, um, busty).  My hips will fill out one day because hers did (yes, I did that).  We both inherited her dad's skinny legs and knobby knees.  I got my dad's chin and my face is a combination of both of my parents.  I have a mole on my finger where my dad had one.  Looking in the mirror is like visiting with my family.  

#12: 30 Blog Challenge-Five Guys Whom You Find Attractive

1. Boris Kodjoe
2. Laz Alonzo
3. Lance Gross
4. Jeff Johnson
5. Robin Thicke

#11: 30 Day Blog Challenge-My Family

I'm the only child of Sharon and Terry Fletcher.  My grandmothers are from Virginia and my grandfathers are from the Carolinas (Maternal grandfather from North, Paternal grandfather from South). My mother is the oldest of 5 kids (2 girls, then 3 boys).  My dad was the oldest son of 4 children (a sister, my dad, then 2 brothers).  I only have 3 first cousins on each side, but  I have a HUGE extended family, as each of my maternal grandparents came from a large family.  Most of my 2nd cousins came to my 30th birthday party last year, including 3 who are over 50!  Unfortunately, my Grandaddy Luther was an orphan and my Grandma Dot was an only child, like me so that side is scarce.  My family is very close-knit and most of my friends say we're like a Southern version of the Cosbys (w/out the money!).  For years we have taken an annual Jones Girls Retreat (my Granny's maiden name) with every woman over 18, including my 90 year old great-aunt Jeannette who drives "little old ladies" to the doctor every day.  I'm blessed with a loving, silly, fantastic family.  We're Baptist, Catholic, and Jewish and we love dancing, good cake, and a dirty joke (my Granny's sisters usually win the contest).   

#10-30 Day Challenge- Put Your Music Player On Shuffle

1. "Are You That Somebody"- Aaliyah
2. "I Like The Way (Kissing Game)"- Hi Five
3. "Kiss"- Prince
4. "You Make Me Wanna"- Usher
5. "Dirty Diana"- Michael Jackson
6. "Pretty Wings"- Maxwell
7. "Iesha"- Another Bad Creation
8. "Turn It Up"- Brandy
9. "Scream"- Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson
10. "The Point of It All"- Anthony Hamilton

I bought an MP3 player specifically for my birthday party last year and loaded it with favorite songs from the three decades of my life.  I haven't added many songs since then and this is a pretty good representation of my favorites.  The only thing missing is a little Craig David, Mario, Common, and MC Lyte.  And some Robin Thicke and Rob Thomas.  Hmmm...

#9: 30 Day Challenge-How Important You Think Education Is

Education is such an important investment in one's future.  I believe that college may not be for everyone, but I do think that everyone should give it a try.  I think that too many people take their free education for granted.  For me, it is part of my responsibility to my ancestors and anyone who ever prayed for freedom from slavery, fought Jim Crow, or died for voting rights.  I enjoy learning and agree with Malcolm X's statement that "Education is the passport for the future".  I just wish more people thought so, too.

Product/Technique Reviews!-Coconut Cream and Darcy's Botanicals Natural Coils Curling Jelly

Natural Coils Curling Jelly

Self-Explanatory

I recently tried Darcy Botanicals  Coiling Jelly ($12) which I purchased at the Natural Hair Extravaganza a few weeks ago.  I tried it three times.  Once exactly according to the directions, a second time with leave-in conditioner, and a third time with added water.  I noticed the best results when I added water the second day.  During the first trial, I noticed that the product dried in my hair and I had a few "hair boogers".  The second day, I added sprayed my hair with some rose water and olive oil (my usual hair refreshing mix).  This seemed to eliminate a lot of the "boogers".  Overall, I noticed good curl definition (the looser curls at the nape of my neck looked like a rat tail).  I will post pictures as soon as my camera acts like it has some sense!


Today, I did my honey-cinnamon-lemon hair hair lightener (featured in a previous post) and deep conditioned with coconut cream (about $1.50).  I've read posts on other blogs and seen YouTube videos that claim that it stretches or silkens your natural curl pattern.  I love my curl patternS (yes, plural, because I have about 3 different hair types), but I have noticed some single strand knots (SSKs) since I did the wash and go style with the Coiling Jelly (see above) and also a protective style with mini-twists.  I try to keep my hair stretched to avoid getting knots.  Again, I want to emphasize that I'm not trying to change my curl pattern.   I just want t try different ways to keep my ends tangle-free.  

#8: 30 Day Challenge- What You Ate Today

So far today, I've eaten a half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a bowl of crab-fried rice.  I had a glass of water and a glass of apple juice.  (I woke up late, so there's more to come).

#7: 30 Day Blog Challenge- Five Pet Peeves

1. Misspelled or incorrectly used words (their/they're/there, its/it's, 's/es/s).  What can I say, I'm a nerd. 
2. Bullies.  I try not to beat folks over the head with my opinions .
3. Natural Natzis, Permed Protesters/Relaxed Rebels, or Weaved Wackos.  Your hair is your business just like mine is my business.  I try not to give unsolicited natural hair advice, but nobody with a bad weave or stringy relaxed hair can tell me anything about my natural hair!
4. People who pre-judge people, places, or things before they know anything about them.
5. When I forget who I loaned something to!